Friday, August 3, 2018

Georgicus Clarence Bartholome III Esquire, Esquire

Project Write campers collaborated on creating a back story for our 5 gallon water jug.  His name is Georgicus Clarence Bartholome III Esquire, Esquire.  His story will move you.

Georgicus Clarence Bartholome III Esquire, Esquire was born into privilege, carrying on his time-honored family name and expected to carry on the time-honored family tradition of working in high class, white collar law.  His parents were so committed to this tradition that they included 'esquire' on his birth certificate.  A child prodigy, Georgicus graduated from high school at age 14 and enrolled immediately at Harvard University, where he completed both his undergraduate and law degrees by the time he was just 21 years old, thus becoming Georgicus Clarence Bartholome III Esquire, Esquire (or Esquire squared for short).

Upon graduating from Harvard, Georgicus opted to defy his family and embarked on a career in the public defenders office in New York City, providing legal representation to impoverished men and women accused of violent crimes.  His social justice work and 100% winning trial record caused him to consider himself a superhero.  Perhaps it was this heroic confidence that enabled him to woo and win his bride, a human woman from LA, with whom he enjoyed long walks on the beach and Pop-tarts.  They married when he was just 25 years old.  Georgicus' parents were furious that he married outside the pool of eminently qualified water cooler candidates that they had pre-screened for him, and they disowned and disinherited him.  His sister, however, took pity on his lovestruck soul and continued to sneak him money to support him.

Georgicus and his bride then moved to Los Angeles, where they continue their long walks on the beach, and they enjoy organic, gluten-free Pop-tarts.


  1. You had me at "Pop-tarts"!

  2. Did they have any little jugs? Thanks for the chuckles. I wish it was longer.