By: Audrey Margolies
A Ride With You
You were a car addict.
You got your kicks
on the smell of
burnt rubber,
gasoline,
and dark leather.
And I would joke
that you loved
your beloved red mustang
more than I.
Maybe
you were too
high,
too wrapped up
in your fantasies,
to make your fake laughter
sound
real.
I was drawn to you
the way moths
are drawn
to
raging
hysterical
electrical fires.
Maybe
I was drawn to you
because
I could enjoy your fantasy
as my own.
What was your fantasy?
Your fantasy
was that
your beloved mustang
was a real, alive and kicking horse.
A red stallion
that would ride the black earth
so fast
it could fly.
How beautiful and numerous
the fantasy of flying is!
My god!
Wouldn't it be so
darkly satisfying
to just fly away?
How
intoxicating
is that idea?
To fly away from your problems
that are bound
by chain and ball
to the black earth?
To forget
that we are all bound
too?
When
I delved deep
into
the riptide that was your fantasies,
the constant feeling
of swift, delirious, and mindless motion
I love the alliteration in this piece, and your use of questions has a strong impact. The emphasis on "intoxicating" really caught my attention.
ReplyDeleteThe metaphor of this piece is really cool; your writing style is sophisticated, the words full of depth and emotion. A very powerful piece full of imagery.
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ReplyDeleteGreat imagery. I can really see the car
ReplyDeleteAnd smell and taste and hear it, too. Also, all the qualifiers are interesting - maybe, maybe, maybe.
ReplyDeleteI love your imagery (riptide, stallion, black heart, etc). I also love the way you connect emotion to the imagery.
ReplyDeleteThe images are clear, strong, and graphic, with an undertone of threats and problems. Rather than "numerous," would "numinous" fit?
ReplyDeleteHi Abigail;
ReplyDeleteI very much like the imagery in your work. One of the lines that struck me was were you compared being drawn to someone to the image of" Moths being drawn to raging hysterical fires". Great use of Metaphor.
I am sorry Audrey. I used the wrong name to address your work.
ReplyDeleteLove the title....It is a descriptive and emotional piece. Great imagery and writing!
ReplyDeleteYour writing is great. What I really enjoyed is the subject matter. I understand the feelings of dealing with someone who loves his car. I am married to him. My big joke was " if the car would fit in the bedroom, I would have to sleep in the driveway." He loved his cars.
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