By: Julianna Reidell
it wasn’t always like this,
She says,
for that’s all she can remember.
it wasn’t always like this.
she can feel the exhaustion creep,
Leaden, through her veins-
but the iron stains her lips.
soon, the wastebasket overflows with napkins, tissues-
all remnants of her attempts to scour, to sweep away
what ought not to leave a mark.
it is strong,
She thinks,
potent.
but she forgets, day after day, night after night,
to take her medicine.
she knows it will improve.
she knows it’s not permanent,
and it’s bittersweet, for, she realizes,
slowly, painfully,
that nothing’s ever set,
or certain,
just a passing dream,
in a long and fretful night.
a teenage year.
i’m okay, She says.
but she knows that’s a lie.
she is lost.
alone,
She is so very, very tired.
but someone comes,
Day after day, night after night.
And gathers all the shattered things up, for a moment, into a warm
Solid,
Moment.
An embrace.
says,
“if they aren’t now, they will be”
and that,
She is ready to believe.
I think a lot of people will be able to relate to the feelings you describe in this poem. I like how you have some alliteration and repetition throughout the piece. The ending really moved me: "'if they aren't now, they will be' and that, She is ready to believe."
ReplyDeleteI agree with Emily. My favorite line is "She is ready to believe."
ReplyDeleteYou set up the line breaks to encourage a specific voice when you wrote,
ReplyDeleteIt is strong,
she thinks.
Potent.
I saw that use of line breaks in a few other places, too.
Julianna;
ReplyDeleteI very much enjoyed the way in which you were able to convey to the reader the the level of emotion in the story. I especially liked the part were you wrote:"she can feel the exhaustion creep,leaden through her veins,but ,the iron stains her lips."great work!
I love your imagery (vivid and descriptive language). It demonstrates your talent in creative writing.
ReplyDeleteGreat work!
You can feel the sadness in this piece. The teenage years are very hard, very much like a roller coaster with many ups and downs. You express those feelings clearly. I look forward to reading more of your writing.
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of a "teenage year," I think it's perfect for describing how time can seem so slow, like you're always going to be stuck in the same routine. It's awesome how the poem captures the feeling of knowing that your life will eventually change, but also finding it so difficult to fathom that life won't always revolve around stuff like school and homework.
ReplyDelete