The imagery in this poem is excellent! It reminds me of something Poe would write. I wonder - what was your inspiration?
You make great use of spacing and placement, especially when combined with your repetition of "I."
After reading you poem I feel sad. Your words tell a very sad story of something that has no hope. We all need hope in our lives. Beautiful writing.
A very beautiful and solemn poem; the rhyming and spacing of "I" and "he" throughout most of the poem create a somber, forceful rhythm to the piece. The impact of the last two lines is profound. Excellent rhyming as well; I think the emotions and message conveyed in this poem is something many people can relate to.
A thoughtful poem.. I would love for you to continue to write more... an example of how you turned this writing from a negative to a positive... the narrative turning point of I!
The use of rhyme and rhythm crates not only a visually beautiful poem, but a poem also fun to read.