You may not be able to see,
But the light within me shines bright.
And though you can't see through me
There is definitely a light.
It was bright before,
But as I grew, the light dimmed.
Look close within the door,
You'll see how much it's thinned.
There is such a trail
That shows me where to go.
I hope to find the rest, to prevail,
And live my life with its beautiful glow.
I love the light metaphor. My favorite line was “You’ll see how much it’s thinned.” The word “thinned” was unexpected, and not normally a word you assoicate with light, but right away I got what you meant. Nice choice!
ReplyDeleteYour language beautifully communicates themes of humanity, strength, and resilience. I really like the symbolism that drives your message, "light, shine, bright, glow, life". Your choice of words evoke many emotions that raise issues of the human experience. Great writing!
ReplyDeleteLike your other readers, I was drawn to the beauty of your language. I was moved by the line, "the light within me shines bright." The light for me symbolizes hope, optimism, a sense of power. You powerfully capture what often happens to our inner light over time. The desire to "prevail" despite life's challenges is a wonderful way to end the piece.
ReplyDeleteThere's something very calming about this poem; maybe it's because the structure and rhyme scheme remain constant throughout. The rhythm rises and falls in a way that's comforting. There's a quiet strength and determination in the narrator's tone, as if she is unhurried and completely confident in her ability to find the light. Very inspiring.
ReplyDeleteI like this idea of an thinning and thickening of light. It is true to life and hopeful.
ReplyDeleteYou are an artist who paints pictures with words. I like the way you are going ahead with a goal.
ReplyDeleteHi Gabriela;
ReplyDeleteIn writing your Poem you make excellent use of imagery. I may have missed the point but, I interpret your use of light as a metaphor used to describe the inner beauty and strength that we are born with that often times we miss in others. I especially liked the manner in which you ended your piece with the stanza that reads: "There is such a trail that shows me were to go. I hope to find the rest , to prevail and, live my life with it`s beautiful glow". What a beautiful Poem.
Gabriela,
ReplyDeleteThis piece expresses confidence, because of your certainty that this light exists. You also seem to feel there is a challenge to keep it. The message is a hopeful one, that you want to keep it going.
Gabriela,
ReplyDeleteYour poem is beautiful and resonates on a number of different levels. It is very accessible to the reader and has meaning to young an old. Well done! It's certainly the piece I needed to read this morning!