Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Blog Post - Haley Hutchinson

The writing below is a fictional account inspired by the story of William Zupkoski, an inmate at Eastern State Penitentiary in the early 1930s.

“I said put your hands up!” the police officer yelled, hands on his gun, visibly trembling. Zupkoski
laughed, putting his hand to his waistband, and pulling out a gun of his own. He shot, missing
the police officer’s shoulder by a hair. Purposefully. Every move was meticulous and on
purpose. He was tackled by three others from behind, his body pushed on the concrete ground,
his head being thrown around and smacking on the floor as well. He let out a laugh of insanity
as blood fell down his face, trickling into his mouth, and the police officers threw him in a van.
This is what he had planned. Revenge was in the air.


  1. Revenge is a wonderful thing, is it not?

  2. Haley,

    A gripping piece. It leaves me wanting to know more about Zupkoski and his 'plan.' This could be a compelling start to a longer story.

  3. Hi Haley;
    I must say that you have a gift for immediately drawing the reader into the story. I can hear the Officer telling Zupkoski to put his hands up. I can also hear his insane laughter. I can see the blood dripping from his face. Please write some more.

  4. Good story. Right to the point. You feel like you are there watching this all happen. You draw your reader into the scene as well as the story. Ouch I felt his face hit the concrete. Write more and more.

  5. The first line of dialogue made me expect something totally different from what the story ended up delivering. I thought this was going to be a story about an intimidating arrest. Such a clever twist to surprise readers! The last two lines are my favorites because they set such an ominous mood and inspire so many questions--among them why the narrator is seeking revenge.

  6. In just a few lines, I was transported to the crime scene. The words "visibly trembling" made visible just how hard it is to pull a gun on another human being even when your life is threatened. You captured the emotional intensity of the situation in your narrative. Great writing! I want to read more!