Thursday, July 26, 2018

Pantoum by Sahar

Pantoum Poem

The Liberty Bell became a symbol of national reunification at the same time that civil rights were systematically denied to people based on their color.
"This is Primetime, everyone's gonna get to see it."
The original Liberty Bell announced the creation of democracy.
"Can I make a pose?"

"This is Primetime, everyone's gonna get to see it."
Fathers, mothers with babes in their arms, were eager to file past the sacred relic.
"Can I make a pose?"
"Yea, that's why we're here."

Fathers, mothers with babes in their arms, were eager to file past the sacred relic.
"I don't get it."
"Yea, that's why we're here."
"You might wanna touch up on your bondage..."

"I don't get it."
The original liberty bell announced the creation of democracy.
"You might wanna touch up on your bandage..."
The Liberty Bell became a symbol of national reunification at the same time that civil rights were systematically denied to people based on their color.

15 comments:

  1. Sahar
    You have a lot going on in this amazing poem, rich with the dichotomy of the past and the present, the ideal and the reality. Nicely done.

    Mr. Hodgson
    Sixth grade teacher
    Western Massachusetts

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  2. Your poem makes me think of all the reasons people visit places like the Liberty Bell, whether it's to get a cool picture, or to learn, or both. It's also funny to think of the bell asking permission to strike a pose as thousands of people take its picture.

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  3. I love the use of the lines "I don't get it" and "Yea, that's why we're here." Nicely done!

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  4. A nice mix of serious comments about the Liberty Bell interchanged with how people are experiencing the space in the moment.

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  5. Hi Sahar;
    I like very much the manner in which you describe a typical Day at the Liberty Bell Center. I think that your Pantoum is powerful. I was especially moved by the line were you write that : "The Liberty Bell became a symbol of National reunification at the same time that civil rights were systematically denied to people based on the color. Please keep writing

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  6. When you think about the fact that it is just a bell, just metal made into a shape, you have to wonder why is it special. We make it special, we give it meaning. You point out that at the same time we were not giving meaning to peoples' lives. The bell was just a step in the right direction as there have been steps in the direction of civil rights for people of color. Who knows how many steps it will take to reach true equality. We must keep moving up those steps! Thank you for giving me something to think about.

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  7. Your poem struck a note in my mind. You shared strong view points and a moment in history that is very important and still relevant. I echo the other comments, your poem is dynamic and creative. Keep writing!

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  8. Powerful, thoughtful, insightful, awesome, well done.

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  9. Your focus on the iconic liberty bell is a searing social critique. The juxtaposition of myth and reality brings a clear reminder of the challenges that remain for this country. Your poem is hauntingly beautiful

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  10. A Pennsylvania FarmerJuly 28, 2018 at 4:43 PM

    Wow! I had to Google "pantoum." I did not know about this poetry form! It's like a collage of quotations that are repeated and re-ordered, with slight variations, that create a really interesting overall effect. I think there's a lot to unpack here, but it really seems to speak to the variety of ways in which people approach/connect with the Liberty Bell. I'd love to know why the author chose the quotations they did and how they decided to put them together.

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    Replies
    1. Hi! I wanted my poem to have a theme and, maybe you've noticed, that the quotes could have been some things that the people who first saw the liberty bell said. I was thinking of what it'd be like to live in those times and, specifically, what it was like when the liberty bell was first put up (:

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  11. Stark reality; many are blind to others’ history. Thank you.

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  12. Great juxtaposition of intentional purpose and reality.
    I see elements of irony, humor, sadness and hope.
    Great job!!

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