Pantoum Poem
- Em Jarosicwicz, Project Write
Welcome, folks, to the Liberty Bell
Okay, fine, let's leave!
The uprising ignited a massive movement
Maybe we can go sit down
Okay, fine, let's leave!
Today we can document this once hidden history
Maybe we can go sit down
I don't know where the exit is
Today we can document this once hidden history
I need everything you got
I don't know where the exit is
Freedom denied
I need everything you got
The uprising ignited a massive movement
Freedom denied
Welcome, folks, to the Liberty Bell
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Pantoum
- Christo Thankachan
I took trains to get here
Me taking selfies with the Liberty Bell
The bell which rang all day and night
Hey. .. get out of my camera's eyes
Me taking selfies with the Liberty Bell
Speaking out for equality
Hey . . . get out of my camera's eyes
Mama, can I ring that bell for once?
Speaking out for equality
Proclaim liberty through all the land
Mama, can I ring the bell for once?
Can you trade your words for mine?
Proclaim liberty through all the land
The bell which sang all day and night
Can you trade your words for mine?
I took trains to get here
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Pantoum Poem
- Elizabeth Gray, Project Write
Even gentle touching can wear away at its surface
I thought you were unbeatable
You're going to believe me?
The picture of freedom denied
I thought you were unbeatable
Unforgivable
The picture of freedom denied
Are you skipping everything?
Unforgivable
Their blood runs cold
Are you skipping everything?
I didn't say that
Their blood runs cold
You're going to believe me?
I didn't say that
Even gentle touching can wear away at its surface
These pantoums juxtapose the words on the walls with the words in the air in such an amazing way. What a start to Project Write!
ReplyDeleteThe juxtapositions are so effective! Did it just fall into place for each of you, or did you have to manipulate the lines multiple times? How did it feel to create the pantoum?
ReplyDeleteDear Em,
ReplyDeleteThese lines stood out for me:
"The uprising ignited a massive movement
Maybe we can go sit down"
Something about the juxtaposition between outrage and action, and contemplation and pause. Nicely done.
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Dear Christo,
These lines really had me thinking of voice, of narrator, of the unseen character just outside the frame of the poem. And that idea of trading words? Brilliant!
"Mama, can I ring the bell for once?
Can you trade your words for mine?"
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Dear Elizabeth,
Your first (and last) line really hit me deep. It evokes emotion and metaphor, and much more. Well done.
"Even gentle touching can wear away at its surface"
----
Peace,
Mr. Hodgson
Sixth grade teacher
Western Massachusetts
epencil.edublogs.org
Em,
ReplyDeleteI got the sense of a carnival atmosphere with a lot of stimuli going every which way. It appeared that some liked being a part of it and others did not. You kept that theme very consistent throughout the piece.
Christo,
ReplyDeleteYour poem really makes me think about the Liberty Bell as an effective and inspiring symbol. Well done!
Great work! These poems capture my experience working in the Liberty Bell Center. We have a piece of metal that somehow became a powerful symbol for people struggling, fighting, putting their lives on the line for justice and equality, life and death stuff. The exhibits and the rangers are desperate to convey this to people who just want a selfie, a place to sit, and to find the exit. "Welcome, folks!
ReplyDeleteEm, I love your first stanza. You can take the whole thing as something funny with a hint of danger, or separate the first two lines from the last two lines and examine the juxtaposition within the pairs.
ReplyDeleteMy other favorite part is "I don't know where the exit is/Freedom denied." Again, kind of funny but it also suggests something darker.
Christo, your last stanza is my favorite. The first two lines are about speaking loudly, confidently--"proclaim liberty" and "sang all day." It's such a powerful contrast with the third line, which sounds almost timid, like someone feeling that their words aren't good enough. Your poem inspires me to create a whole backstory for the speaker.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, I love that your first three lines seem like a conversation. It's funny on the surface ("you're going to believe me?") but also hints at something sadder, since it seems to me that someone is finally admitting that they aren't invincible and the other person has to come to terms with that.
ReplyDeleteAll of the poems were outstanding. I agree with Mr Hodgson that one of the line that resonates for me is Elizabeth's "Even gentle touching can wear away at its surface". The bell, like so many of the ideals it stands for can be damaged more by small, persistent acts than by larger, more deliberate attacks. Common words used uncommonly well. Great job to everyone.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth,
ReplyDeleteThe statements you chose for this poem express a consistency. I get the sense that the Liberty Bell has not done its job as a symbol. Lines like: "I thought you were unbeatable," "Unforgivable," "The picture of freedom denied," and "Are you skipping everything" all give that impression.
Christo, I loved how you incorporated the statements "Mama, can I ring that bell for once" and "Can you trade your words for mine?" into this piece. Both of them sent shivers down my spine and reminded me of how far our society come but also of how much farther we have to grow.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many interesting ideas encapsulated in these overheard statements! Example: "I need everything you got" (Greed, consumerism) "The uprising ignited a massive movement" (Protest, resistance, Democracy) "Freedom denied" (the paradox of American democracy) "Welcome, folks, to the Liberty Bell" (Friendly, jovial, welcome from a ranger or security guard that belies the difficult/messy history inside). You could really do this kind of unpacking for all of these poems, and come up with more, and different, ideas from the ones that I gave. I hope your group spends some time discussing the big ideas contained in these snippets of overheard conversation/sound/narration).
ReplyDelete