Pantoum
- Haley Hutchinson, Rising Junior, Project Write
There's some brutality in democracy
That's why we're here
Interpreting the past
for hidden flaws
That's why we're here
This should resonate with you
For hidden flaws
are a tangible link to the struggle
This should resonate with you
German
are a tangible link to the struggle
She's panicked
German
interpreting the past
She's panicked
There's brutality in all democracy
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Pantoum
- Iris Kim, Project Write
Let's go see the bell
Half the population has no say in the making of laws
Sometimes the words evolve
I ask you to adopt the principles proclaimed by yourself
Half the population has no say in the making of laws
Stop it!
I ask you to adopt the principles proclaimed by yourselves
You want to see the picture
Stop it!
Justice is an empty word
You want to see the picture
This helped the people who were escaping
Justice is an empty word
Sometimes the words evolve
This helped the people who were escaping
Let's go see the bell
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Pantoum
- Heaven-Leigh Peters, Project Write
Excuse you
Ring loud that hallowed bell
You wanna do a selfie?
Drop it
Ring loud that hallowed bell
Wow! That's almost as big as your head!
Drop it
The liberation is underway
Wow! That's almost as big as your head!
By no means excluding women
The liberation is underway
She flew where?
By no means excluding women
Wanna do a selfie?
Oh no, that's horrible
Excuse you
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Pantoum
- Ife Islam, Project Write
Let the bell be cast
See the great big bell?
This is not our history but
pick the one you like best and delete the others
See the great big bell?
That bell older than you
Pick the one you like best and delete the others
The liberation is underway
That bell older than you
Ya'll learned this in school?
The liberation is underway
Keep the faith, baby
Ya'll learned this in school?
This is not our history but
keep the faith, baby
Let the bell be cast
Ife, I thought it was particularly powerful when the "This is not our history" line ended up with "keep the faith, baby" in your last stanza. Heaven-Leigh, I loved how you used the "Excuse You" line to open and close you pantoum! Iris, the placement of "Stop It!" was masterful. Haley, your first stanza is amazing!
ReplyDeleteDear Haley,
ReplyDeleteI was pulled in by your opening lines -- the brutality of Democracy -- and then thought about how so many voices and stories often get lost by history. This happens because not everyone gets a chance to tell their story, and those whose story does get told is often on a slant. Your poem hints at those lost stories.
Sincerely,
Mr. Hodgson
Sixth grade teacher
Western Massachusetts
epencil.edublogs.org
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Dear Iris,
Your poem, and its repetitive phrasing of "justice is an empty word" has me wondering about how poems can both capture the past and moments in the present. I wonder if that is what you were doing -- using the visual of the Liberty Bell to make a comment on the current political environment. You have me thinking of those connections.
Sincerely,
Mr. Hodgson
Sixth grade teacher
Western Massachusetts
epencil.edublogs.org
---
Dear Heaven-Leigh,
There's something about that phrase "Excuse You" that is sticking with me as I read this. I suspect it was an overheard phrase, given the poem style, and yet ... the voice comes through in the lines of your poem. And then the "ring loud that hallowed bell" is powerful, sort of a wall upon with "excuse you" is written with spray paint as graffiti.
Sincerely,
Mr. Hodgson
Sixth grade teacher
Western Massachusetts
epencil.edublogs.org
--
Dear Ife,
The phrase of "let the bell be cast" that ends your poem indicates something powerful and ultimately positive, despite the theme of "deleting others" in other stanzas. Perhaps it is knowing there is more to what we see than our eyes tell us that can give us hope.
Sincerely,
Mr. Hodgson
Sixth grade teacher
Western Massachusetts
epencil.edublogs.org
Haley, "Interpreting the past for hidden flaws" made me stop and think about what is being said and what is being received at the Liberty Bell Center. Flaws- are they hidden, or do we refuse to see them? Nice way to start your poem
ReplyDeleteHeaven-Leigh, "Ring loud that hallowed bell. You wanna do a selfie?" I like these two lines together. "Ring loud that hallowed bell." - in its context of freeing the slaves - a meaningful theme, yet our attention is pulled away by immediate self-gratification of a selfie. It is as though we are in a balancing act.
The words you were all drawn to during your visit to the Liberty Bell Center seemed to affect you in a very profound way. Struggle and hypocrisy are subjects that come to mind when I read each poem. Indeed, the exhibits there have much to say about overcoming injustice. Ife, loved to see the line: "the liberation is underway." It gives the sense that one should not give up hope because the rewards will be worth it in the end.
ReplyDeleteBTW, its Ranger Paul
DeleteHi Haley;
ReplyDeleteThe way in which you introduced your Pantoum Poem was powerful,"There`s some brutality in democracy"and I liked the way in which you reminded the reader that part of studying the past involves uncovering the flaws. Powerful piece Please keep writing.
Hi Iris ,Heaven-Leigh and Ife;
ReplyDeleteI very much enjoyed how each of you described in your Pantoum Poems about the Promise and the Parodox of the meaning of Liberty as symbolized by the Bell. Ife, I love the sentence in which you state;'The Liberation is underway". Heaven -Leigh, the sentence in which you write" Pick the one you like best and delete the others, was very powerful.Iris, the the first Stanza really inspired me Where you state "Half the population has no say in the laws, followed by "Sometimes words evolve.It gives the reader a sense of how we continue to interpret the meaning of freedom and equality over time. Please keep writing
Haley, your poem is so powerful. I especially love the line "Interpreting the past/for hidden flaws" because it relates so much to what historical sites like Independence NHP have to do, constantly reevaluating to find the people/stories that have been overlooked.
ReplyDeleteMy other favorite line is "For hidden flaws/are a tangible link to the struggle." So thought-provoking.
Iris, my favorite part of your poem is "Justice is an empty word/Sometimes the words evolve." It's a sad moment, yet hopeful. Your poem argues that even if justice is an empty word, it doesn't always have to be--it may become a meaningful word someday. Or perhaps your poem is saying that justice wasn't always an empty word? Either way, it inspired me to reflect.
ReplyDeleteHeaven-Leigh, I really enjoy the lines "Ring loud that hallowed bell/Wow! That's almost as big as your head!" It really captures what it's like to wander through the Liberty Bell Center: in some ways, it's a very serious place that feels like we should enter it with reverence. But there are also huge crowds of people, often families, that give the place a much more lively, often hectic feel. This encapsulates both those feelings so perfectly.
ReplyDeleteIfe, I know I'm not the first one to mention it, but the lines "this is not our history but/pick the one you like best and delete the others" is so powerful. I know the second line is probably about pictures, but in the context of your poem it becomes about who gets remembered in history, and who decides.
ReplyDeleteThe lines also speaks to being in a country or culture that's not your own (or doesn't feel like it). I relate it to coming from a family that can pick and choose what parts of American culture to embrace.
Do you know how many copies there are of the Liberty Bell? In my travels I have seen many, many Liberty Bells, large and small in some of the strangest places. How about at Forest Lawn cemetery in Hollywood Calif. As for democracy, it is an infant, a work in progress. Maybe in a thousand years, it will be perfect. Our job it to keep making democracy better.
ReplyDeleteWow wow wow is all I can say to all of you!. Haley, "interpreting the past for hidden flaws." You really understand what it means to study history. I definitely didn't get that at your age. Iris: "sometimes the words evolve..." that line gives me hope. Heaven-Leigh: your line "do you want to take a selfie? Drop it." That reminded me so much of my travels this summer. I saw so many people in ancient and famous places totally missing the moment by posing with their selfie-stick for the perfect picture. Ife, "pick the one you like best and delete the others." Such powerful words.
ReplyDeleteWOW! These are all incredible, I love the way that each and everyone of you incorporated what you heard and what you saw into the poems. You can really tell what people where feeling and thinking about the day that you visited. I would be curious to see how repeating the exercise would alter your poems, if at all.
ReplyDeleteI love these Pantoums. I love the way these quotes seem to be snatched from the air around the Liberty Bell, captured, and rearranged/remixed to create poetry that conveys a lot of interesting and important ideas, especially about the often difficult history of American Democracy.
ReplyDeleteImpressive the way the writers are thinking, synthesizing what they know with what they see and read and even what they hope for! Should spur more thinking and good conversation!
ReplyDelete