been on the hunt for a new best friend
but I've been moving on a budget
I ain’t got time for no loose ends
no money to waste
and none to spend
on one that could handle
pack me up and put me in a box
6 feet deep
wrapped with a bow on top
maybe put me out my misery
because
when the sun turns off my
phone begins to shine
I like how it not only rhymes but it's about looking for a friend that will trust and be loyal to you
ReplyDeleteFrom the first few verses, the rhythm of your writing creates a sense of moving forward--of being on the hunt. Plus, I feel like the speaker is confident and knows exactly what they want. I think the money metaphor is especially clever!
ReplyDeleteZion- this is brlliant. Your poem reads light and crisp while at the same time carries gravity. You have command over time and tempo.
ReplyDeleteZion;
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with ranger mike that this is a brilliant poem. It does contain a great rhythm and
I especially like the last two lines:" When the Sun turns off my phone begins to shine" Great Poem!