Everyone seems to be passing through. Every movement is rushed, hurried. Everything the important men do carries with it an undertone of expeditious movements. The occasional glare is all the time that can be diverted from the bustling madness of inconcise movements and speech that fills the rooms of Independence Hall with the secret cacophony of governance. Boots of important men autonomously provide me with occupation. They trample the creaking floors; forcing clouds of dust and grime to form. I work for the shoes of governors and senators.
I pride myself on the satisfaction of the sole.
But when there is nothing to be cleaned, there is no work for me here. I stand in the corners of rooms during meetings and legislation writings. Two,three, four men sit and talk politics on a grand scale. I’m there too but, perfunctorily. My presence is akin to the windows that line the building and embellish the interior with light. My presence is less noticed; my purpose, less grandiose. I simply clean. But like the windows, the important men don’t hesitate to speak about whatever matters they’re attending to in front of me. They speak with no worries about me being able to regurgitate their words to others. It's almost as if the window is more human than me, less translucent.
I love the similies and how your descriptiveness brings the pictures to life. It really blows up the moment for what you would expect to be an insignificant character.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you portrayed the main character's invisibility and unimportance throughout the piece!
ReplyDeleteThe descriptions really put you into the shoes of the narrator, and the great vocabulary used makes the entire paragraphs feel important as well. The tone of the writing really amplifies that feeling of insignificance. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI bet you will notice the person standing on the side. The person no one is paying attention or noticing. You see the background as well as the center. Keep writing.
ReplyDeleteWhoa, the comparison to a window is so unexpected and heartbreaking. It’s such a powerful way of pointing to the fact that this character fades into the background but also serves an important function—the windows, after all, bright light. I was also struck by the way you explain that the character works not for the important men, but for their shoes.
ReplyDeletePowerful. The narrator is stands still while everything moves at a frantic pace all around them. The story transports me to the Assembly Room and it's as if I'm looking through the eyes of the narrator.
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