Moments Pass
Moments Pass as I fall deeper
your smile, laugh, and stupid grin makes me sigh
Moments Pass as I watch you lay
your faint breathing fills the room along with he beats of the heart I fell for
Moments Pass as everyone looses hope
I can't give up on you yet
hope is slimming but my love for you stays strong
Moments Pass as I start to grow pain along with you
open your eyes to give me hope again
the love that keeps me strong is killing me
Moments Pass since you've taken your last breath
The drinks I drink help me forget our love so strong
No where is safe so I take some pills and run
Moments Pass since I've stopped running
Moments Pass since I've stopped walking
Moments Pass as I stop breathing
By: Sofie B.
Wow! That ending is so powerful. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's me? I keep finding common threads in these incredible posts. I absolutely love the way Sarah captured the "life or death" drama that happens in an ER. In a matter of minutes, decisions are made and lives are saved, or lost. I can't help but think that that same adrenaline fueled type of drama happened when the main character in Shyheed's story heard the "boom". In seconds, forget about minutes, the character had to make decisions that this time cost a life. The same hormone (did I get that right Sarah?) fuels and sharpens the skill of the doctor while it causes the character in Top to make a wrong fight or flight decision in his life. (Shyheed, I wasn't really sure if I interpreted your story correctly. I read it several times and that was the message I came away with. PLEASE tell me if I mis-read your story.) I also wonder what I (we) would be feeling if Dr. Robbins lost one or both of the lives. There are so many parallels between the two stories and I could go on, but I'd rather hear from the authors. Let me know if I'm on the right track or way off.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to bring one other post into this discussion. Sofie's "Moments Pass" is also a very powerful post. I could feel the main character's sense of loss and despair. I was trying to yell out to the character and say NO DON'T DO IT and IT WILL GET BETTER. Then I couldn't help but think what if someone gets Sofie's character to Dr. Robbins. Lives. Lives saved and lives lost. Sometimes it all hangs on a decision, an action or an interaction.
To all of the authors: BRAVO!
Wow, this is emotionally intense, and the repetition really helps to achieve that!
ReplyDeleteSophie, I was moved by the intensity of this piece.The ending were you write "moments pass since I`ve stopped running, moments passed since i`ve stopped walking ,moments pass since I stop breathing. I would like to state that you were successful in conveying emotion in this poem. Thank You!
ReplyDeleteVery well written piece. The ending is a mind blower...
ReplyDelete