Tides

Has there ever been someone that you can't stay away from?

Your friends deemed them toxic

You've probably developed a couple of stress pimples,

but you're still drawn to them?

Well that's my case.

Skittles, Justin Timberlake and basketball don't mean the same to me anymore.

I feel like Alice when she fell down the rabbit any time I look into a boy's brown eyes

Falling deeper and deeper until I reach his heart - 

Just to break it.

Shards of beautiful ruby were scattered.

Pieces so tiny that I'm still trying to put them back together

my hands can't work fast enough and my mouth won't form the words that'll bring him back together.

I still think about the mornings of skipping busses - 

just to see him

Standing out in the cold with a dress on because I thought he'd like it

Waking up on time to fix my hair and get my eyeliner perfect... 

...just to realize he preferred me natural

but that was okay. 

Traces of him are still in my phone despite how much I hate him deep down

but this burning I feel each time I hear that name

See his face

or even think about him

isn't hate.

It's another 4 letter word that scares me beyond scared

a word that I won't say, but I'm saying it at the same time.

While I pour my heart out endlessly he's probably worrying about someone or something else

Song "Our love has gone cold

you're intertwining your soul

with Somebody Else"

"I hate to think about you with Somebody Else."

The term "there's more fish in the sea" means nothing to me

Dang, if anything I'm the fish and he's my sea.

He’s everything I need to survive but

If I die then it’s just another fish gone.

That’s until his entire ecosystem starts screwing up.

Overgrowth of certain plants

Maybe undergrowth

Excessive amounts of whatever I preyed on.

But that probably won’t make his tides stop shifting and from his waves crashing on the sand.

I’ve realized he’s better off anyways. 

In my eyes, I was a beautiful dolphin he enjoyed keeping sheltered in his waves.

A dolphin that belonged in the deep blue but ended up in shallower tides

His lack of depth almost killed me, but I stayed anyways.

I ended up beached on his shores.

Turns out he’s wanted to get rid of me for a while.

However the sweet taste of release set me free from him

And my release being sweet for him too

Because he was free from me.

By: Santana Outlaw